Monday, May 28, 2012

Dear Nightmare

Dear Nightmare,

Although I once loved you with all my heart, I feel I've made a mistake. Perhaps I wanted something that could not be. Silly me and my silly weakness, giving in to nightmares. I know that my seemingly tough exterior is off-putting, but if you'll remember I haven't always been this way toward you. I once opened my heart and soul to you. I gave you what many have asked for but none have been given. I gave you all of me. You abused me and threw me away. For as long as you've known me you should have learned by now that when I become cold it isn't because I really am; it is a defense mechanism, a safe mode. I turned myself off to you to try to prevent further damage from you. You have no idea how hard it is to finally allow my heart and soul to flow then abruptly cut it off. My pipes may have been rusty, but the water was pure. It was yours to drink forever, but you gargled with it and spit it out. And you do so little to try to win back what you once had. I have no respect for a coward who fights so weakly for what he claims to love. So if I don't go about discussions as sweetly as I once did don't accuse me of trying to start a fight; instead try to understand that what you want can no longer come naturally. I can not trust someone whose actions and words contradict each other. Although it was freely given the first time, you must earn it back again. But I may have learned my lesson when it comes to giving in to nightmares. You will likely have to first become a dream. 

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